LIFE & STYLE

Mistakes husbands make in bed

By Eudora Ndubisi

Just as men sometimes tell their buddies the gory details of their sex lives, some women make their relationships the focal point of their conversations with their closest friends. Comparing notes? Maybe. This article and segment became necessary because us women are starting to complain, giving up more detailed intimate deficiencies on the part of their husbands in women forums. 

So husbands read and digest the most common mistakes you make during sex and how to fix them, taken directly from the ladies' mouths, so you can be sure that you are not turning your wife off without even realising it:

1. Skipping foreplay all the time

"Not warming up the engine properly before putting the foot on the accelerator,"
At one time or another, we've all experienced a moment so passionate that wasting time on foreplay was unthinkable -- and if you haven't yet, you should. However, getting caught up in the heat of the moment is quite different from pouncing on her out of nowhere and cutting straight to the chase on a regular basis.

Sometimes, she needs a little appetiser before the main course. Something as simple as a caress, a sensual kiss or a suggestive whisper in her ear, followed by a come-hither look, can mean the difference between a night she will never forget and one she will want to forget as soon as possible.

2. Ignoring her body language

Will he ever listen and learn how to…
Most wives complain that their husbands don't listen to them and it translates into the bedroom also. Perhaps it stems from the male ego, which tells them, 'I know it already' or 'I know it better than she does.

Although a woman may initially be too shy to tell you exactly what she wants in bed, her body language will give her away. It is up to you to pay attention to her telltale signs until she is comfortable enough with you to really open up verbally. So don't treat her like a blow-up doll and have your way with her (unless, of course, she has specifically asked you to do so).

Try to notice how she responds to your touch and react accordingly. If you sense that she is tensing up when you touch her or try to move her body in a certain way, it could be that you are being too rough or that she is ticklish, so be gentler. If, on the other hand, she seems completely unaffected by your caresses, it's time to turn up the volume and shake things up a bit.

3. Moving too fast
You practiced restraint during dinner when she was sitting across from you in that low-cut dress, giving you those eyes and flashing you those smiles. You even controlled yourself while you were sitting next to one another on your couch, and she was absent-mindedly touching your knee, and looking away whenever you caught her giving you that look. So, why blow it in bed?

Practicing restraint in bed will only get her hotter, making her want you even more, and will inevitably lead to a mind-blowing sexual experience for both of you. So learn to pace yourself and enjoy everything the moment has to offer. Trust me; you'll both be happy you did.

4. Lack of grooming!
Men can be lazy or forgetful that although they may actually like their smell, most women don't want their men to smell anything but clean and fresh, Shaving and waxing help too.

5. Wanting to try too many things at once

She is not ready and it’s frustrating
Most women have an adventurous side and are willing to try new things in bed once they trust their lover enough. But, if you ever want her to reach that point with you, the last thing you should do is force the issue too soon because you are now married. Doing so may blow your chances of her ever considering the idea again, as you never did ask for these moves before marriage.

Try to introduce new positions and reveal fantasies slowly but surely, starting with the tamer requests and working your way up to the racier ones. This way, there's no telling how far you can go.

6. Disrespecting her
Despite what you see in porno movies and, to a lesser extent, on TV, women don't particularly want to be disrespected in bed. Although they might go along with it to please you at first, doing so may eventually cause them to feel uncomfortable, and even resentful.

So make sure that before you call her any derogatory names thinking it might excite her engage in rough play until you have her wholehearted consent. If you are really into these sorts of things, make sure that you're with a woman who is too, and be sure to run your fantasies by her before marriage to gauge her reactions, and not just spring them on her because you are now married. Be careful she may not quite know how to react.

7. Don’t assume she's satisfied, be the amazing lover
If you can steer clear of the aforementioned behavior, and try to follow this advice, you are headed toward being the kind of lover that attracts your woman like magnet and keeps her coming back for more and thereby strengthening your relationship and marriage.
That is what you want, isn't it? Or…