Laugh It Off

Bill Gate's wealth

1. Bill Gates earns US$250 every SECOND, that's about US$20 Million a DAY and US$7.8 Billion a YEAR! **********

2. If he drops a thousand dollar, he won't even bother to pick it up bcoz the 4 seconds he picks it, he would've already earned it back. **********
3. The US national debt is about 5.62 trillion, if Bill Gates were to pay the debt by himself; he will finish it in less then 10 years. **********

4. He can donate US$15 to everyone on earth but still be left with US$5 Million for his pocket money. **********

5. Michael Jordan is the highest paid athlete in US. If he doesn't drink and eat, and keeps up his annual income i.e. US$30 Million, he'll have to wait for 277 years to become as rich as Bill Gates is now. **********

6. If Bill Gates was a country, he would be the 37th richest country on earth. **********

7. If you change all of Bill Gate's money to US$1 notes, you can make a road from earth to moon, 14 times back and forth. But you have to make that road non-stop for 1,400 years, and use a total of 713 BOEING 747 planes to transport all the money. **********

8. Bill Gates is 40 this year. If we assume that he will live for another 35 years, he has to spend US$6.78 Million per day to finish all his money before he can go to heaven. **********AND LISTEN TO THIS...................

9. Last but not the least: If Microsoft Windows' users can claim US$1 for every time their computers hang because of Microsoft Windows, Bill Gates will be bankrupt in 3 years !!!!!!! !!!! **********

A -M-A-Z-I-N-G!!!

   

 Phone Call

Husband and wife agrees that anytime they want to have sex, they will call it a 'PHONE CALL'. One day, the husband stays in the bedroom upstairs and sends his son to tell his mother who was in the living room downstairs that he wants to make a phone call and mother replies:

MOTHER: Tell your father that there is no network.

HUSBAND: Tell your mother that if there is no network at home, then I will go to a public phone.

MOTHER: Tell your father that if he dare goes to a public phone then I will open a call centre at home.
 

A guy went up to his father saying:

"Daddy, I fell in love and want to date this awesome girl!"

Father: That's great son. Who is it?
Son: It's Sandra, the neighbour's daughter.
Father: Ohhhh I wish you hadn't said that. I have to tell you something son,
but you must promise not to tell your mother. Sandra is actually your sister.

The boy is naturally bummed out, but life goes on, and indeed, a couple of months later ...
Son: Daddy, I fell in love again and she is even hotter!
Father: That's great son. Who is it?
Son: It's Angela, The other neighbour's daughter.
Father: Ohhhh I wish you hadn't said that. Angela is also your sister.

This went on couple of times and the son was so mad, he went straight to his mother crying.

Son: Mum I am so mad at dad! I fell in love with six girls but I can't date any of them because dad is their father!

The mother hugs him affectionately and says:
"My love, you can date whomever you want. He isn't your father".

 ................................................

Once upon a time there was this girl who had four boyfriends.

She loved the 4th boyfriend the most and adorned him with rich robes and treated him to the finest of delicacies. She gave him nothing but the best.

She also loved the 3rd boyfriend very much and was always showing him off to neighbouring kingdoms. However, she feared that one day he would leave her for another.

She also loved her 2nd boyfriend. He was her confidant and was always kind, considerate and patient with her. Whenever this girl faced a problem, she could confide in him, and he would help her get through the difficult times.

The girl's 1st boyfriend was a very loyal partner and had made great contributions in maintaining her wealth and kingdom. However, she did not love the first boyfriend. Although he loved her deeply, she hardly took notice of him!

One day, the girl fell ill and she knew her time was short. She thought of her luxurious life and wondered, I now have four boyfriends with me, but when I die, I'll be all alone.'

Thus, she asked the 4th boyfriend, 'I loved you the most, endowed you with the finest clothing and showered great care over you. Now that I'm dying, will you follow me and keep me company?'

'No way!', replied the 4th boyfriend, and he walked away without another word.

His answer cut like a sharp knife right into her heart.

The sad girl then asked the 3rd boyfriend, 'I loved you all my life. Now that I'm dying, will you follow me and keep me company?'

'No!', replied the 3rd boyfriend. 'Life is too good! When you die, I'm going to marry someone else!'

Her heart sank and turned cold.

She then asked the 2nd boyfriend, 'I have always
turned to you for help and you've always been there for me. When I die, will you follow me and keep me company?'

'I'm sorry, I can't help you out this time!', replied the 2nd boyfriend. 'At the very most, I can only walk with you to your grave.'

His answer struck her like a bolt of lightning, and the girl was devastated.

Then a voice called out: 'I'll go with you. I'll follow you no matter where you go.'

The girl looked up, and there was her first boyfriend. He was very skinny as he suffered from malnutrition and neglect.

Greatly grieved, the girl said, 'I should have taken much better care of you when I had the chance!'

In truth, you have 4 boyfriends in your lives:

Your 4th boyfriend is your body. No matter how much time and effort you lavish in making it look good, it will leave you when you die.

Your 3rd boyfriend is your possessions, status and wealth. When you die, it will all go to others.

Your 2nd boyfriend is your family and friends. No matter how much they have been there for you, the furthest they can stay by you is up to the grave.

And your 1st boyfriend is your Soul which is often neglected in pursuit of wealth, power and pleasures of the world.

However, your Soul is the only thing that will follow you where ever you go. Cultivate, strengthen and cherish it now, for it is the only part of you that will follow you to the throne of God and continue with you throughout Eternity.

Thought for the day: Remember, when the world pushes you to your knees, you're in the perfect position to pray.
.......................
Women Are The Best

Women are the best vehicles in the world because:
- 2 beautiful headlights in front,
- 2 great bumpers at the back,
- Self-lubricating when hot,
- Finger touch ignition,
- Automatic engine oil change every month,
- Any type of pistons fit,
- Multiple seating styles & adjustments,
- Great accessories,
                                                      - Highest mileage: 9 months with just 5 ml refill.
                                                             That's why MEN die to get a ride!!
 

 ......................................................

 An airplane was about to crash; there were 5 passengers on board but only 4 parachutes. The first passenger said, 'I'm Zinedine Zidane, the world's Number1 footballer. FIFA needs me, I can't afford to die.' So he took the first pack and left the plane. 

The second passenger, Hilary Clinton, said, 'I am the wife of the former President of the United States, I am the most ambitious woman in the world. I am also the US Secretary of State and a potential future President.' She just took the 2nd parachute and jumped out of the plane. 

The third passenger, Robert Mugabe, said, 'I'm President of Zimbabwe and I have 13 million helpless people who always look to me for guidance. Above all I'm the cleverest President in African history, and Africa's people won't let me die'. So he put on a pack next to him and jumped out of the plane. 

The fourth passenger, Nelson Mandela, says to the fifth passenger, a 10yr old Chinese school boy, 'I'm old and have lived a fruitful life, God will decide my fate, so I'll let you have the last parachute'.. The boy said, 'It's OK, there's a parachute left for you. Africa’s cleverest President (Robert Mugabe) has taken my schoolbag'.