EXCLUSIVE INTERVIEW

I Should Have Been African

Sárközi Erika

This is the story of Hungarian woman who loves Africa and its people, especially its men. Her experience is stunning - good and bad - which she says has made her wiser. Although she has never been to Africa, she jokingly regrets that the stork did not ask her what she wanted to be, meaning she would have chosen to be African. Meet Sárközi Erika, 50, who tells it all in this special interview with African News Hungary Managing Editor. It is a story you won't read anywhere else. 

Briefly tell us about yourself

My name is Erika Sárközi, I am 50, divorced and I live in Balatonfüred. I work as a social worker and I am a medical masseur. I have a daughter who is 28 and lives near Győr. She is also a social worker. I hate intolerance of any kind.

Have you been to Africa? If yes where and when?
I have never been to Africa, and I can't afford to go there. It is too expensive for me as a social worker. If I had possibility to go to Africa, I would go to Ghana, Congo, Somalia, Kenya, and maybe Morocco.

Do you have African friends either in Hungary or somewhere else?
Sorry to say I don't have any African friend in Hungary, but I have African pen pals from Ghana, Nigeria and Kenya. You know I wanted to come into the world as African, but the stork didn't ask me what I wanted, to stay in Africa or to fall down into a chimney somewhere in Hungary, so when this stork left the black continent I was in it's beak. This was a very bad decision the stork took 

What is/are your favourite African food?
I like African food; it is a little heavy for my stomach. Olalekan in London used to say that white people are puny because they never ate good food. I saw many times how he ate chicken bones without having any problems with his teeth. No osteoporosis! I did massage for few black men. The difference between black and white men muscle is obvious; it must be because of the food. I don't have any favourite African food neither do I know much about African food. However I simply like eating with my fingers. You know there are no African events in Balatonfüred or near; one event was in Veszprém about three weeks ago, Chalaban concert. I was there. My favourite group is Chalaban. If I want to go to African events, I have to go to Budapest, but I can do it only on Saturday, Sunday or on holidays. There are no African restaurant, no African food near here, if I want to eat African food, I have to travel 120 kilometres. Don't you want to open an African restaurant here? Maybe you think I am a crazy chicken. Yes, I am. But I am the most excellent crazy chicken in Hungary.

What are your experiences with African culture, people or things?
 I haven’t too much experience with African culture. I have read some books and I regularly use the net and read anything about Africa. For example, I read news from AHU newsletter, Afriport, Radiocafé-Africafé, e-mails with pen pals. I used to have conversations with my ex African friends. I often listen to African music. This wonderful music is full of harmony, happiness; and the African dance is full of life and liberty. What about African people?  I only knew black men, and my experiences are not too good. For example, one African man (in London) wanted to marry me, but he was lazy, careless and he told me lies; he never had money. Once I told him that he was a piglet and that he lived in a pigsty. He was just laughing and said that I was funny. Then he would say to his friends that I would be a wife of a pig. Then I would be laughing too. He couldn't make love, but only sex. However his ego would not allow him to learn how to make love. I left him. He was a Yoruba man from Nigeria.

I got acquainted with my daughter’s boss when I visited her in Cardiff. He is from Somalia. We were pen pals for a while after which I invited him to Hungary. He was here for 10 days and I think he liked being with me (I gave him everything). Then he said that he would come for another 2 weeks after 5 months in August this year. But I told him I too would like to visit him for 10 days in Cardiff. That was the last I saw of him – He vanished. I had similar bad experience with a man from Ghana who I met on Africa Day at Sankofa concert in May. Upon all, I don't think all of African men are the same like these fellows I met. I don't know African women, or kids in Hungary, but George's son, Daniel in Mount Cameroon is beautiful. His mother allowed me to hug and fondle him. I was very happy to have a black baby in my arms for some minutes.

Is it the black men you love in general or African black men?
I love black people. Unfortunately I had no possibility to meet women and kids, I only know men. I love blacks in general, but I love African blacks much better. I hate being here in this civilized world. Here everything is complicated, even though everything in the world is so simple. I think in Africa people live a simple life. They value such things as clear water, sunshine, the song of birds, food, friendship, the earthy smell, emotion, family, liberty, music, peace, nature, work and so on. I am a simple woman; I love simple people and that is why I love African people. When I was with black men, I loved their calmness (they often said to me: take it easy.).They were full of life. They could relax, laugh and they talked to me about Africa and its people, customs, animals, nature, tribal-wars, languages, etc. I loved them because they were African blacks.

Is your ex-husband a black man?

My ex husband is a white man. He was lazy and careless.

Have you had any problems with your friends or relatives because of your association with black men?
I have had no problems because of my black friends. My friends and colleagues were very curious; they wanted to know everything about them. Olalekan Awolesi (the Yoruba man in London) didn't want to come to Hungary. I couldn't understand why. Miguel from Somalia was here for ten days, he met my friends and colleagues, my daughter loved him (he was her boss). I wanted to introduce him to my father and his second wife, but this woman didn't allow me to do so. My father loves black people. When I was ten, he had the opportunity to work in Ethiopia. He wanted to go there but my mother refused. So I missed my greatest adventure of my life.

Do you believe in mixed marriage? For example, Africans marrying Hungarians and vice-versa?
I don't know what you mean about mixed marriage. I always wanted (and still I want) a black man, my heart beats for black men, but my brain is against them. I can only listen to my heart; you know I am a woman. I am afraid of disappointment; even so I want a black man, I am afraid of being told lies all the time. Even though I want my black lover, I know he will cheat on me; he will have girlfriends. Even though I don't want to live without him, I am sure I will never be as important in his life as important he is in my life. Even being his slave would not prevent him from fooling around. African men know all these things; they know everything about white woman, as much as white women feel or know everything about black men. Sometimes Hungarian women feel such baffling affection for black men.  Do you know the film “African lovers?” After I saw this film I could understand many things that I couldn't understand before. How great can the difference between two worlds be!  But there are lot of bridges...  Everything depends on us...

So you believe in mixed marriage
Yes. I believe in mixed marriage.

If you meet a good black man or African black man, is there any possibility of re-marrying?
You know marriage isn't important to me, but if I meet a really good black man and I would be really good for him, then it is possible to marry a black man or African black man.

What advice would you like to give Hungarian women who want to marry or had already married African men?

Advice?  I can't give any advice to Hungarian women who want to marry African men, because I have never had a black husband. In anyway, they should pause and listen to their heart. That cliché is my advice. I am sure if you marry a black man, he will deceive you. But until that moment you discover his unfaithfulness, you will be very happy. You may love him in the future too, but you will suffer and suffer. Men are naturally polygamous. This is a fact and every woman should know this. There is all kind of problems in a friendship or in a marriage. If people talk about these problems, they will find the solution.

Romantically, you must have had bad experience with black men. Am I right?
I don't think that my experiences with Africans are bad. Do you know what is bad? I have no African friends in Hungary yet; this is bad. But the experiences are good. I have become wiser, I have learnt so many things from these men, good and bad, it is no problem, and I will never forget them.

You went to Mount Cameroon restaurant recently. Why did you go there from Balatonfüred which is far away?
I was with my daughter on Africa Day in Tűzraktér in May, and I saw a man taking pictures during this event. I thought somewhere must be these photos so I goggled a few words, and I found this website with the pictures of Sankofa. Since that time I regularly read this blog.  And so I found the article on Mount Cameroon there. I was on the World