COMMENTARY

Marriage: Nigerian pastors as slave drivers

By Abiodun Awolaja

Women and the devil have enjoyed a chummy relationship for ages. They are very emotional, and the devil loves emotions. Men have an ambiguous relationship with satan. In Nigeria, satan has set up camp in the churches, and marriage is his chief weapon. 

 I have never ceased to marvel about the sheer impudence of prophets telling people who to marry. I have carefully studied the Bible: nowhere do I find Peter or Paul choosing wives for people. Picture this: a scoundrel in suit clears his throat, goes into mad prayer, and then pronounces: "No road there."

And the boy or girl weeps: the Pastor has said that he/she cannot marry the person after his/her heart. A lot of educated Nigerians are in the firm grip of these pastors, these worthless criminals who propagate a marriage ministry, the kind one cannot find in Josephus or any other Christian historian.

If your pastor chose for you who to marry, you have already signed your death warrant. You will cry, even if you are laughing now. You are in bondage, locked in the vomit of men. All tables are full of vomit, and who shall be taught knowledge? Don't bother to run away from trouble: it is in your house to stay.

A lot of spiritual nonsense goes on in Nigeria. "I saw her in my dream. She is my wife. She is the chosen one. My pastor confirmed it." I'm sure you have heard such nonsense as this. Or said it. Well, stop being silly: you cannot be in the spirit 24 hours a day, can you? And who told you that you have the Spirit of God anyway? Get out of foolishness. Let your marriage be your own choice.

It is a shame, but one pastor was actually cursing a relation of mine on his wedding day. "If you divorce this woman, cursed are you ... " And on and on he went, threatening fire and brimstone. These are the hollow men, the wicked men, the slave drivers, the Pharaohs, the men of perdition. When the Lord Himself was invited to a wedding, He was there to bless, not to curse. He added value, and he did not join anyone together. I wonder where these buffoons got their "By the powers conferred on me, I pronounce you husband and wife." Powers conferred by who? English culture, maybe, but certainly not God Almighty. God created man a free moral agent: pastors have made slaves of men, and they will dissolve in sulphur when the time comes.

Some pastors even tell girls who are above 30: It is the Holy Ghost that you need first, not a husband, as if they were the Holy Ghost giver. What foolishness. The girl's body demands sex, and she needs precisely what she is asking for: a husband. These are Pharisees who lay grievous burden on people, but will not touch it with one of their fingers. There is a law of biology which God Almighty put in the human body, and no amount of spiritual abracadabra will change it.

Sex is a legitimate need of an adult, a legitimate feeling. You can prophesy for ten hours, I don't care. Or tell the lie that "Jesus is my husband," as one hypocrite said in Ondo years back. She was later to be caught praying: "Lord, when will you give me my own husband?" I laughed when her younger brother told me the story. Holy sister, you need a husband. Did you hear me? Stop clutching pillows at night. Go for gold or drown in dust.

Well, some of these girls are over-wise. They will look for a Brother who has a future (i.e good prospects) and say that they saw it in their dream that he is the chosen one. They will never see the Brother who is a tyre or bicycle repairer in their dream. And the so-called Brothers are looking for sisters with a future and a background, meaning a sister endowed in the proper places. This is another evil that I have seen under the sun.

Oh my, how these born-again folks are suffering from sexual bondage and claiming that they are fighting the devil!
I am not a fool: I know that a man needs a woman, and vice versa. When you return from work, exhausted, there is nothing as great as a welcoming kiss. But some women, when their husband returns, hiss and tell their friend: "As I was saying ... "These are wicked women with wicked friends with wicked souls.

Pastors should stop enslaving the people, or they will soon be deregulated. There are too many pastors in this country. Advice for the wicked: if you do not like to hear the truth, please fight it. It will be your doom.

Awolaja is on the staff of the Nigerian Tribune