COMMENTARY/FEATURE

Love: So powerful & sweet yet so cruel

 Uzoma Ahamefule

Are you in love? If you are just thank God and be careful. Have you mistaken sexual urge or body attraction for love? Have you just been dejected and in pain? Wipe your tears and thank God because you have been rescued from a complex web of lies and deceit. 

You have just been freed from the bondage of an embryo that is too small for you to see but yet the most dominant force in your brain, heart and soul to your marrow. Are you in a state of bewilderment in your love? Then read through and advice yourself.

Oh love! You are so powerful, romantic and sweet but yet you could be cruel and bitter. You are an invisible oblivion that cannot be grabbed but yet you are the most powerful thing known by mankind. You could soften the heart of a lion that it could be captured by a pregnant woman with just a bare hand. You made the strongest man in the bible Samson, to be caught like a sleeping drunkard because you are commanding. No wonder great men and women of this world have fallen to your affection so easily like the way the deaths of the pharaoh’s armies in the Red Sea were made by God to look easy.

No wonder some aspiring Reverend fathers and Reverend sisters drop their robes mid way just to satisfy your calling because you are so powerful. And that is why those that understand how influential you are have never stopped to defend Romeo and Juliet. When you hit someone, you have got the capability to make that person sometimes look stupid, confused, childish or even silly and vulnerable. And that tends to justify the reason why some say you are blind.

"Love could soften the heart

of a lion that it could be

captured by a pregnant woman

with just a bare hand"

Dear reader, just pray that you remain in a state of obscurity to this thing called love until God’s time otherwise if you get enveloped to the wrong person and at the wrong time then you will understand how dangerous it is for a general to go to war without a weapon.

Love is powerful and can drive some people do a lot of incredible things. In view of this; how much can love push you? Can you go the extra miles to play the part of Romeo and Juliet just to be with your partner? Are you happy with your marriage? Are you happy in that courtship or are you just still hanging on because of what people will say? Have you searched your conscience and can you beat your heart to say yes I am satisfied with my partner or my choice to be?

Always have it at the back of your mind that it takes two to tango and that in the circle of love it is not a one way traffic. Therefore, when a man or a woman says that your love is no longer needed, do not worry yourself. Just be courageous enough and pick your pieces and move on with your life. Every man needs a woman visa versa but absolutely not the one that will send you to your earlier grave. 

You should know that your love alone is not enough to keep both of you happy, even when both of you love each other some important factors like understanding, trust and compatibility must be considered amongst you before that nuptial mass or else you are doomed. Do not wait until you are rejected and heartbroken in your courtship when you have seen enough evidence of him/her not appreciating your feelings, but rather be quick to say goodbye because such a person does not deserve your love and he/she is nothing but a parasite hindering your potential partner getting closer.

"Those that understand how

influential love is have never

stopped to defend Romeo and Juliet"

Age should not be a barrier to any relationship because it is only a number and if you doubt it go and study the romantic history of late Biafran leader whom the Igbos love so much even in death, Chief Emeka Odimegwu Ojukwu, the “Ikemba of Nnewi”, “Eze Igbo gburur” and the one time most beautiful girl in Nigeria Bianca Ono.

Do not rush into marriage otherwise you will rush out. Do not pretend or trick anybody into marriage under any guise because if you do your days will be full of regrets and sorrow until your partner tricks out of the marriage. And do not get married out of pity otherwise you have pitied yourself to destruction. Do not just get married to anybody that comes your way simply because you are lonely or feel frustrated. Do not marry because of position, money, beauty, academic qualifications or out of selfish interest because many homes today are in shamble as a result of either of the points stated above.

But marry your spouse even when he/she is poor because you are really in love with your whole heart and mature for it and build a real sweet home together. Seek the face of God and do not allow societal influences to deprive you of your happiness because not all that glitters is gold. Therefore, is your aspiring partner not at the academic level you want? Be wise and support him/her to that level and with God’s favor you can never regret you did.

"Do not get married out

of pity otherwise you have

pitied yourself to destruction"

Although not scientifically proven but I personally think that events and studies have shown that a very intimate contact between a man and a woman is the most natural sweet thing on earth and that is why immorality and prostitution in different forms and levels are on the rise. To buttress how enveloping and dangerous this urge to eat the forbidden fruit could be, commit to memory that it was the sweetness of this apple fruit that made Adam challenge God. It was the pressure to satisfy this romantic aroma that led the former US president Bill Clinton to soil the White House with his secretary.

Even though he was fully aware of the shame and stigma associated with such immorality and did not actually want such scandal in his position, but because the uncontrollable force of the pleasure fruit from imagination had already taken control of his waist that he unknowingly dared the consequence of self political murder. Because of the commanding pressure of this intimacy, Tiger Woods, the best known international golf player of all time could not control the force of his libido that he regrettably shot down his marriage from a very high altitude.

If one has a mindset on the sweetness of this pleasurable forbidden fruit and how to have that few moments of oblivion satisfied, it takes the intervention of extra force to make that person come back to senses of knowing that a cobra snake cannot be caught with bare hands. And it is under this negative force that some men would stupidly refuse to think with the brain but rather with the waist and abominably father the children of their own daughters and blame it on the devil. 

Because the intensity of this feeling is so powerful, a woman in Kärnten, Austria was incredibly overwhelmed by her urge that she locked her husband and her own children out of frustration and anger in a room and ignited the house with fuel to ashes simply because her husband did not allow her a taste of the sweet apple that night.

Because the imagination of this one moment oblivion is always intense and could be dangerous to those without self control like three times FIFA world best player Ronaldo of Brazil who finds pleasure to sneak into ungodly houses for the taste of the forbidden fruits to scandal, because the pressure of this desire has proven to be the only known force that can melt any stone heart to salt and penetrate defense of any army, that is why some old men of about 73 years could still be called babies by young girls between the ages of 20-23 and they will happily accept it with smiles and without any feeling of insult.

Therefore, it was not surprising that Aso Rock, the Nigerian presidential tight defense wall and the most secured place in Africa security-wise was penetrated and made to look ordinary when the dreaded maximum ruler and Commander in Chief of Armed Forces Federal Republic of Nigeria General Sani Abacha could not hold the commanding force to quench the desirable urge of eating the forbidden apple fruits that he unknowingly opened doors for unwanted visitors. 

He did this by ordering for the importation of too many young and fresh tempting ones that turned out to be contaminated. And because of the pleasurable nature of these pointed apples, Abacha was rumoured to have uncontrollably taken an over dose that took him to sleep to wake no more. As a matter of fact, beware because the forces behind this feeling could put one in a state of bewilderment that could lead to mistaking this libido to true love. Consequently control your waist or your flesh and equally stop that courtship, if you discover that the chances of your dream relationship are 20% - 80% and save yourself some heart ache because a broken courtship they say is better than a broken marriage.

"If one has a mindset on the sweetness of this pleasurable forbidden fruit and how to have that few moments of oblivion satisfied, it takes the intervention of extra force to make that person come back to senses of knowing that a cobra snake can not be caught with bare hands"

Because love is sweet and romantic with the right partner; how often do you make your partner have this sense of romance? How often do you tell your partner “I love you?” or “You are beautiful / handsome?” When last did you give your partner a surprise gift no matter how small in appreciation for love? Or are you still living the ancient life or in group of those stingy ones that are too economical to appreciate their partner with gifts unless on Valentines days? You better change your attitude now because love is every day to those that care.

Hey! You better wake up and renew this interest again because it is still not too late. Whisper those sweet words into his / her ears as often as reasonable. Seduce him / her with those sexy dresses he / she likes and give it the way she / he enjoys it during swimming time and if you must shout, shout, if you must scream, scream and if you must cry, cry but importantly let the music play to the satisfactions of everyone’s redeem.

"Remember, every relationship has got its ups and downs but what makes the difference between successful and failed partners is nothing but the ability and the hunger to settle their differences and all relationships must not end in marriage"

If you are one of those lucky people with a lovely and caring partner count yourself privileged to have come across this article and declare today’s night a night of swimming in paradise. And if you have just realized how wrong you treated your partner or that you did not do enough to maintain your relationship, please pick up your phone and give him/her a call and heal the wound with the words “I am sorry.” It may not be easy but do that because it is wise.

Remember, every relationship has got its ups and downs but what makes the difference between successful and failed partners is nothing but the ability and the hunger to settle their differences. You should equally recognize that all relationships must not end in marriage. With little carefulness, patience, understanding and prayers you will be happy again in your home or with the right partner.

Irrespective of how this pleasurable forbiden fruit pressures you to have intimate contact in your courtship before marriage, I strongly advise that you control yourself and abstain from sex till God's appointed time.

Are you one of those that holds the opinion that love is blind? I personally think that the blind is the lover who mortgaged his/her independent reasoning ability to the partner, friends or societal influences that helplessly drove it to be beclouded and narrowed to unimportant things that eventually slaved the soul. Consequently, it makes the person not to recognise or respect that genuine instinct and body chemistry that saw the danger ahead and rejected such union. Therefore, I hold a different view from this general misconcept slogan that love is blind because love actually sees everything.

Uzoma Ahamefule wrote in from Vienna, Austria