Facebook love tears marriage apart
By Sam Otti
Is it a crime to fall
in love? That is exactly the question that Mrs. Folasade Esther (surname
withheld by us) has asked herself a million times. She has
been seeking an answer after her heartthrob, who works with an oil
company in Akwa Ibom State, reportedly turned his back on her and their
two children to marry a lover he met on Facebook. Daily Sun gathered
that when Folasade, a physically challenged lady, got married, most
people thought it was a marriage made in heaven.
the one-time happy union later turned to hell on earth. Although the
bride counts herself blessed for having two lovely children, she does
not hide the fact that the six-year-old marriage had brought her more
tears than joy.
said her husband, who she met 15 years ago in Lagos, suddenly broke his
marital vows after battering her for years. The proof of her agony could
be seen on her body, full of indelible scars from bruises allegedly
inflicted on her by her husband. Folasade said she bore her sorrows in
uncomplaining meekness, casting her hopes on the Christian assurance
that all would be well again.
disappointment, things got worse. Her heroic endurance was shattered
recently when the father of her children fell into the arms of another
woman on the social interactive site, Facebook. Since then, things fell
apart, as he allegedly subjected her to rounds of beatings and
the incident, the young lady recounted with tears how she laboured for
five days in the hospital for the delivery of her baby, regretting that
her husband neither showed up nor called. She said his uncaring attitude
at that time was a clear message that he had something up his sleeves.
called to ask after my condition. I was later transferred to the General
Hospital, Uyo and they had to carry out a caesarean section on me. By
then, the baby was so weak and it passed away the next day," she
lamented. With songs of sorrow on her lips, Folasade's hypertensive
condition has deteriorated so badly that she has to live on drugs.
Struggling with a crutch to support her disabled leg in the face of her
present health crisis and at the same time fending for her two
under-aged children has left the 36-year-old lady truly traumatised.
the reporter that she had to wash her dirty linen in public because her
husband made her life so miserable. On whether they were live-in-lovers,
she said they got married in the law court six years ago. "We were in
courtship for several years. During the courtship, I got pregnant for
him and gave birth to my son. Later, we wedded legally at the Akwa Ibom
registry in 2007, about six years ago.
already had my son before that court marriage. My son will be 10 next
month. After the court marriage, I gave birth to a baby girl," she said.
Folasade said trouble slipped into her marriage when her husband
started dating a strange woman on Facebook. According to her, the new
lover was a divorcee and mother of four children. "Our problem started
when they started online dating. Last time, I went to give birth to my
baby at UK.
about three years ago. I noticed that anytime I travelled, the lady
would come over to my marital home and stay with my husband. I have been
noticing other changes in my husband's attitude towards me. So, I
started suspecting my husband.
It is a
case of a dog that wags its tail whenever it sees you, but all of a
sudden, it will see you and start barking. I knew that something was
wrong," she said. Folasade said her curiosity to find out the problem
from her husband earned her merciless beatings.
got worse whenever she summoned courage to complain to his friends and
relatives, pleading with them to intercede on her behalf. Such step, she
said, won her more beatings and the stoppage of the N30,000 monthly
feeding allowance for the entire family.
said she did everything to make her marriage work and possibly win back
her husband's love but her matrimonial home kept falling apart.
her husband, at a point, abandoned her and the kids for about a month,
leaving them without any money for their feeding. "When these troubles
began, I called some of his bosses to explain, pleading with them to
talk to him. But anytime I called his friends to help us make peace,
things would get worse. I noticed that if his family tried to talk to
him, he would never listen. He is the breadwinner of the house, so,
nobody can fault his actions. If they don't support him, then, he will
starve them too."
aggrieved mother said the height of her agony came on May 15 when he
turned her to a punching bag. Aside battering her, she narrated how she
became a public spectacle when her husband allegedly tore her clothes to
shreds and threw her outside the gates of their house at night.
She had to
seek refuge at the Police Station, Eket, she said. According to her, she
reported the matter to the police at Eket, while some Good Samaritans
provided clothes to cover her nudity. "The police came to arrest him but
he refused to open the door.
The way he
beat me, I couldn't see anything, not even my phone. I was tattered when
I got to the police station at Eket. The police came back again but he
refused to open the door. He later called the DPO to complain that armed
robbers came to his house to rob him. He saw the officers that came in
police uniform but he turned the whole story around, calling them armed
robbers," she said.
finally showed up at the Police Station, Folasade said the Divisional
Police Officer (DPO) ordered him to take her to the hospital for
said he only drove her home and left for work. She said her agony
worsened in the night when his lover came to their house with another
lady and they slept with her husband in the bedroom. Folasade said she
and her children had to sleep in another room. But she was yet to
experience the worst.
to her, she was returning from the hospital on Friday, May 17, where she
had gone to treat her wounds, when she sighted a big truck in their
compound. Her husband, aided by his Facebook lover and the woman's
sister, allegedly removed every item in the house. Not even her personal
belongings or those of her children were spared, she said. Folasade
said she kept her distance to avoid further trouble. And when the truck
drove off, she walked into an empty house where, in her words, she
wailed in agony. When it dawned on her that her tears could not restore
her lost fortunes, she hurriedly went to pick her children from school
and they left their home empty handed.
nothing I brought out of my house. Not even my underwear were left for
me. I lost everything. My children had nothing to wear expect the school
uniform they wore to school on that day. It is as bad as that," she
reporter contacted the husband on the telephone, he said he wouldn't
join issues with his wife on the pages of a newspaper. Further attempts
to persuade him to open up met a brick wall, as he abruptly hung up.
the husband has chosen to be silent, Folasade is shouting at the
rooftop. She is calling on human rights groups, association of
physically challenged persons, Ministry of Women Affairs and other
relevant agencies to fight for her.
two children by her side, the task of building from ground zero seemed
daunting. But she had vowed never to allow the custody of her two
children in the hands of a strange woman that lured her husband away
from their marital home. "I am handicapped. There is little I can do. He
should take care of his children.
provide money for the training of these children. I want to beg human
rights groups, the association of physically challenged persons and
concerned activists to save me from the hands of this man that subjected
me to all these abuses over the years.
me to a punching bag, starving me and throwing my children and I out of
the house. He believed there is nothing I have or that there is nothing I
can do. But I have God," she said.