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Worship with us @ Mountain of Fire Miracles Ministries, Budapest, Hungary Address: 1081 Bp II János Pál Pápa tér 2 (formerly Köztársaság tér) Direction: From Blaha, take tram 28, 28A, 37, 37A, 62...1 stop. From the traffic light cross to the other side... Or take Metro 4 & get off @ János Pál Pápa tér
Time of worship: Wednesdays @ 18:30 hr Sundays @ 10:30 hr
Tel: +36 203819155 or +36 202016005

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Saturday, 8 June 2013

RELATIONSHIP

 Facebook love tears marriage apart
By Sam Otti

Is it a crime to fall in love? That is exactly the question that Mrs. Folasade Esther (surname withheld by us) has asked herself a million times. She has been seeking an answer after her heartthrob, who works with an oil company in Akwa Ibom State, reportedly turned his back on her and their two children to marry a lover he met on Facebook. Daily Sun gathered that when Folasade, a physically challenged lady, got married, most people thought it was a marriage made in heaven. 



Unfortunately, the one-time happy union later turned to hell on earth. Although the bride counts herself blessed for having two lovely children, she does not hide the fact that the six-year-old marriage had brought her more tears than joy.

Folasade said her husband, who she met 15 years ago in Lagos, suddenly broke his marital vows after battering her for years. The proof of her agony could be seen on her body, full of indelible scars from bruises allegedly inflicted on her by her husband. Folasade said she bore her sorrows in uncomplaining meekness, casting her hopes on the Christian assurance that all would be well again.

To her disappointment, things got worse. Her heroic endurance was shattered recently when the father of her children fell into the arms of another woman on the social interactive site, Facebook. Since then, things fell apart, as he allegedly subjected her to rounds of beatings and starvation.

Grieved by the incident, the young lady recounted with tears how she laboured for five days in the hospital for the delivery of her baby, regretting that her husband neither showed up nor called. She said his uncaring attitude at that time was a clear message that he had something up his sleeves.

"He never called to ask after my condition. I was later transferred to the General Hospital, Uyo and they had to carry out a caesarean section on me. By then, the baby was so weak and it passed away the next day," she lamented. With songs of sorrow on her lips, Folasade's hypertensive condition has deteriorated so badly that she has to live on drugs. Struggling with a crutch to support her disabled leg in the face of her present health crisis and at the same time fending for her two under-aged children has left the 36-year-old lady truly traumatised.

She told the reporter that she had to wash her dirty linen in public because her husband made her life so miserable. On whether they were live-in-lovers, she said they got married in the law court six years ago. "We were in courtship for several years. During the courtship, I got pregnant for him and gave birth to my son. Later, we wedded legally at the Akwa Ibom registry in 2007, about six years ago.

I have already had my son before that court marriage. My son will be 10 next month. After the court marriage, I gave birth to a baby girl," she said. Folasade said trouble slipped into her marriage when her husband started dating a strange woman on Facebook. According to her, the new lover was a divorcee and mother of four children. "Our problem started when they started online dating. Last time, I went to give birth to my baby at UK.

That was about three years ago. I noticed that anytime I travelled, the lady would come over to my marital home and stay with my husband. I have been noticing other changes in my husband's attitude towards me. So, I started suspecting my husband.

It is a case of a dog that wags its tail whenever it sees you, but all of a sudden, it will see you and start barking. I knew that something was wrong," she said. Folasade said her curiosity to find out the problem from her husband earned her merciless beatings.

The case got worse whenever she summoned courage to complain to his friends and relatives, pleading with them to intercede on her behalf. Such step, she said, won her more beatings and the stoppage of the N30,000 monthly feeding allowance for the entire family.

Folasade said she did everything to make her marriage work and possibly win back her husband's love but her matrimonial home kept falling apart.

She said her husband, at a point, abandoned her and the kids for about a month, leaving them without any money for their feeding. "When these troubles began, I called some of his bosses to explain, pleading with them to talk to him. But anytime I called his friends to help us make peace, things would get worse. I noticed that if his family tried to talk to him, he would never listen. He is the breadwinner of the house, so, nobody can fault his actions. If they don't support him, then, he will starve them too."

The aggrieved mother said the height of her agony came on May 15 when he turned her to a punching bag. Aside battering her, she narrated how she became a public spectacle when her husband allegedly tore her clothes to shreds and threw her outside the gates of their house at night.

She had to seek refuge at the Police Station, Eket, she said. According to her, she reported the matter to the police at Eket, while some Good Samaritans provided clothes to cover her nudity. "The police came to arrest him but he refused to open the door.

The way he beat me, I couldn't see anything, not even my phone. I was tattered when I got to the police station at Eket. The police came back again but he refused to open the door. He later called the DPO to complain that armed robbers came to his house to rob him. He saw the officers that came in police uniform but he turned the whole story around, calling them armed robbers," she said.

When he finally showed up at the Police Station, Folasade said the Divisional Police Officer (DPO) ordered him to take her to the hospital for treatment.

But she said he only drove her home and left for work. She said her agony worsened in the night when his lover came to their house with another lady and they slept with her husband in the bedroom. Folasade said she and her children had to sleep in another room. But she was yet to experience the worst.

According to her, she was returning from the hospital on Friday, May 17, where she had gone to treat her wounds, when she sighted a big truck in their compound. Her husband, aided by his Facebook lover and the woman's sister, allegedly removed every item in the house. Not even her personal belongings or those of her children were spared, she said. Folasade said she kept her distance to avoid further trouble. And when the truck drove off, she walked into an empty house where, in her words, she wailed in agony. When it dawned on her that her tears could not restore her lost fortunes, she hurriedly went to pick her children from school and they left their home empty handed.

"There is nothing I brought out of my house. Not even my underwear were left for me. I lost everything. My children had nothing to wear expect the school uniform they wore to school on that day. It is as bad as that," she said.

When our reporter contacted the husband on the telephone, he said he wouldn't join issues with his wife on the pages of a newspaper. Further attempts to persuade him to open up met a brick wall, as he abruptly hung up.

Although the husband has chosen to be silent, Folasade is shouting at the rooftop. She is calling on human rights groups, association of physically challenged persons, Ministry of Women Affairs and other relevant agencies to fight for her.

With her two children by her side, the task of building from ground zero seemed daunting. But she had vowed never to allow the custody of her two children in the hands of a strange woman that lured her husband away from their marital home. "I am handicapped. There is little I can do. He should take care of his children.

He should provide money for the training of these children. I want to beg human rights groups, the association of physically challenged persons and concerned activists to save me from the hands of this man that subjected me to all these abuses over the years.

He turned me to a punching bag, starving me and throwing my children and I out of the house. He believed there is nothing I have or that there is nothing I can do. But I have God," she said.

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Editor's Mail

Love the article on Gaddafi
We must rise above tribalism & divide & rule of the colonialist who stole & looted our treasure & planted their puppets to lord it over us..they alone can decide on whosoever is performing & the one that is corrupt..but the most corrupt nations are the western countries that plunder the resources of other nations & make them poorer & aid the rulers to steal & keep such ill gotten wealth in their country..yemen,syria etc have killed more than gadhafi but its not A̷̷̴ good investment for the west(this is laughable)because oil is not in these countries..when obasanjo annihilated the odi people in rivers state, they looked away because its in their favour & interest..one day! Samosa Iyoha

Hello from
Johannesburg
I was amazed to find a website for Africans in Hungary.
Looks like you have quite a community there. Here in SA we have some three million Zimbabweans living in exile and not much sign of going home ... but in Hungary??? Hope to meet you on one of my trips to Europe; was in Steirmark Austria near the Hungarian border earlier this month. Every good wish for 2011. Geoff in Jo'burg

I'm impressed by
ANH work but...
Interesting interview...
I think from what have been said, the Nigerian embassy here seem to be more concern about its nationals than we are for ourselves. Our complete disregard for the laws of Hungary isn't going to help Nigeria's image or going to promote what the Embassy is trying to showcase. So if the journalists could zoom-in more focus on Nigerians living, working and studying here in Hungary than scrutinizing the embassy and its every move, i think it would be of tremendous help to the embassy serving its nationals better and create more awareness about where we live . Taking the issues of illicit drugs and forged documents as typical examples.. there are so many cases of Nigerians been involved. But i am yet to read of it in e.news. So i think if only you and your journalists could write more about it and follow up on the stories i think it will make our nationals more aware of what to expect. I wouldn't say i am not impressed with your work but you need to be more of a two way street rather than a one way street . Keep up the good work... Sylvia

My comment to the interview with his excellency Mr. Adedotun Adenrele Adepoju CDA a.i--

He is an intelligent man. He spoke well on the issues! Thanks to Mr Hakeem Babalola for the interview it contains some expedient information.. B.Ayo Adams click to read editor's mail
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