ANNOUNCEMENT

Worship with us @ Mountain of Fire Miracles Ministries, Budapest, Hungary Address: 1081 Bp II János Pál Pápa tér 2 (formerly Köztársaság tér) Direction: From Blaha, take tram 28, 28A, 37, 37A, 62...1 stop. From the traffic light cross to the other side... Or take Metro 4 & get off @ János Pál Pápa tér
Time of worship: Wednesdays @ 18:30 hr Sundays @ 10:30 hr
Tel: +36 203819155 or +36 202016005

God bless


Monday, 2 April 2012

OPINION

 My Teenager
By Stella Damasus


“If you want to hang out with us, you have to be able to manage dating 3 guys at the same time.. You can’t be our friend with the way you look, your dressing needs to be more revealing, you need to use more makeup…“Hahahaha, so you want to move around with us and you don’t party, you don’t drink, you’ve never had sex, you can’t even use a swear word?!”

Sometimes parents are not aware of the things concerning the lives of kids when they are in school. If I didn’t have a young girl I am mentoring that can tell me these things, I also would still be in the dark on such matters. Everything I’ve written here was given as a criteria to a young girl that I mentor just so that she could be a part of the “Populars”. Shocking?.. Yes I know. In my days, being popular wasn’t about how many relationships you could manage or if you have had sex but apparently things have changed.
I’m going to attempt to explain what life in school is like for young boys and girls just the way the girl I’m mentoring explained It to me.
In school you have clans. The 3 major clans are:
The Populars – These are the people that everyone wants to be like. They run the school and are usually feared but still adored by all others. They are rich and almost always badly behaved (so it still puzzles me why others would want to be like them).
The Famzers/Wannabes – The famzers (who are also like wannabes) are people that spend the better part of their time trying to be like the populars. They do everything possible to hang out with the populars so as to officially become a popular.
The Geeks- these are the people that usually get bullied because instead of messing around, they’d rather concentrate on their studies or maybe because their looks are not up to what the populars want or their dressing is not top notch (I don’t know who died and made them Fashion Police)
As irrelevant and childish as these things may seem, it’s very serious because these little things end up scaring our kids for life because in the quest to be one of the “Populars” our kids begin to do crazy things in school.
I once knew of a girl who so desperately wanted to be one of the populars but because she felt she didn’t have the looks to get her there, she decided to do whatever it took to be friends with the populars. So, she intentionally started skipping classes so she could become a “BAD GIRL”. Then she started paying a lot of attention to the boys that she would normally blow off. After that she agreed to go to the back of the school with a boy so she could finally prove that she had become a big girl. All of a sudden she started to get into a lot of trouble, and guess what, the populars started paying her a lot of attention. One would think that cults only exist in university, sorry to burst your bubble, secondary schools have become the place were cultism exists. I got really scared when I was informed that the girls are the ones who are at the forefront of this practice.
So this is how it works, once you can prove that you can be a bad girl, you have started having sex and no teacher can do anyting because you have a way of sorting them out, then you can fully be initiated. The process of initiation will see the girl in question carry out a particular task that can be as bad as sleeping with two teachers in two days, can also be stealing something from the principal’s office without being caught.
This might sound shocking and unbelievable, you might even think its a story line from one of our movies. Trust me I wish this was the case. I actually took time to talk to some of these young girls and the things I heard shocked me to my bones.
I started thinking of the reasons why these girls do the things they do. I then discovered it had to do with the lack of attention from their home. They feel that this is a way of getting attention and then when they get into, they begin to enjoy it.
Most times there is no one or no means of expressing their frustrations and confusion especially at that age when there is so much about themselves they want to understand. Their bodies are changing, hormones are raging, thought processes are running faster and wilder, exposure is much more now, and so much more. In all of this, there is no one who will create that time to actually sit and explain a lot of things to them, no one to make them understand and contain these changes, no one to make them feel loved and cared for thereby making them confide in their so-called friends who are also finding it difficult to understand themselves.
When they find solace in these populars, it becomes a drug for them and it becomes easy for them to upgrade whatever bad deed they are involved in. They no longer face bullying because they become one of the bullies.
To make it easier let us call this young girl I am mentoring CJ. This happened to CJ and the process of initiation demanded that she became a lesbian and have a relationship with the leader of the populars. This really destroyed her because as she grew older she became confused about her sexuality and of course there was no one she could talk to about it.
As we spoke about this she started crying and when I asked her what the most painful part was, she said it was the amount of young girls she did the same thing to before she left and the amount of yong girls who are excited about secondary school who will still face it.
Do we really have guidance counsellors in schools? What are their responsibilities? Do we as parents pay attention to physical, emotional and psychological changes in our young girls?
Let’s save our children

Stella Damasus is a Nigerian actress

No comments:

Post a Comment

COPYRIGHT

COVER STORY

MY SMALL VOICE COLUMN

MY SMALL VOICE COLUMN
Odd jobs stacked against EU immigrants

COLUMN: MY SMALLVOICE

COLUMN: MY SMALLVOICE
TV2's false report about Nigerians in Hungary

MY SMALL VOICE

MY SMALL VOICE
Remembering a true prophet, Bob Marley...click on photo to read

MY SMALL VOICE

MY SMALL VOICE
Subsidising fraud & lies & blood...click on photo to read

MY SMALL VOICE:

MY SMALL VOICE:
Libya: The return of colonialist bondage.

Editor's Mail

Love the article on Gaddafi
We must rise above tribalism & divide & rule of the colonialist who stole & looted our treasure & planted their puppets to lord it over us..they alone can decide on whosoever is performing & the one that is corrupt..but the most corrupt nations are the western countries that plunder the resources of other nations & make them poorer & aid the rulers to steal & keep such ill gotten wealth in their country..yemen,syria etc have killed more than gadhafi but its not A̷̷̴ good investment for the west(this is laughable)because oil is not in these countries..when obasanjo annihilated the odi people in rivers state, they looked away because its in their favour & interest..one day! Samosa Iyoha

Hello from
Johannesburg
I was amazed to find a website for Africans in Hungary.
Looks like you have quite a community there. Here in SA we have some three million Zimbabweans living in exile and not much sign of going home ... but in Hungary??? Hope to meet you on one of my trips to Europe; was in Steirmark Austria near the Hungarian border earlier this month. Every good wish for 2011. Geoff in Jo'burg

I'm impressed by
ANH work but...
Interesting interview...
I think from what have been said, the Nigerian embassy here seem to be more concern about its nationals than we are for ourselves. Our complete disregard for the laws of Hungary isn't going to help Nigeria's image or going to promote what the Embassy is trying to showcase. So if the journalists could zoom-in more focus on Nigerians living, working and studying here in Hungary than scrutinizing the embassy and its every move, i think it would be of tremendous help to the embassy serving its nationals better and create more awareness about where we live . Taking the issues of illicit drugs and forged documents as typical examples.. there are so many cases of Nigerians been involved. But i am yet to read of it in e.news. So i think if only you and your journalists could write more about it and follow up on the stories i think it will make our nationals more aware of what to expect. I wouldn't say i am not impressed with your work but you need to be more of a two way street rather than a one way street . Keep up the good work... Sylvia

My comment to the interview with his excellency Mr. Adedotun Adenrele Adepoju CDA a.i--

He is an intelligent man. He spoke well on the issues! Thanks to Mr Hakeem Babalola for the interview it contains some expedient information.. B.Ayo Adams click to read editor's mail
Watch live streaming video from saharareporters at livestream.com

Gadget

This content isn't available over encrypted connections yet.

Popular Posts

Our Blog List